End of Life Decisions
by Ardeth De Vries
How do you know when it’s time to release your animal friends from their bodies?
Some of our old dogs leave their bodies without assistance from us. Their deaths are “natural” and require no intervention. However, one of the most difficult, yet very necessary, aspects of our work here at Old Dog Haven is making the decision to allow dogs to move on to their next expressions of spirit when their bodies fail them and their quality of life becomes seriously compromised. These dogs depend on us to help them make their transition, and we perform that final service for them with love and respect.
We know that many people who find their way to our website share their homes with old dogs, and it is our hope that the following thoughts may be of help to those people who are agonizing over the end-of-life decisions that often must be made with regard to an animal friend: (Note: We’ve used the generic “him” to refer to individual dogs rather than the awkward “him/her” references.)
Quality of life is the key issue. If your animal friend is unable to function in a way that assures you that he is still enjoying a good quality of life, then it’s time to seriously consider releasing him from his body. Severe incontinence caused by kidney failure, inability to eat, impaired mobility, lack of interest in surroundings, restless movement during sleep often caused by pain, disorientation and confusion, severe vomiting, uncontrollable diarrhea, failed vision and hearing loss are all symptoms which indicate that your friend’s body is failing.
Within this context, be very careful about having painful treatments or heroic surgery performed on an old dog that is suffering. He doesn’t deserve to endure more pain just because you don’t want him to die. We don’t ever want our animal friends to die, but that wanting is unreasonably self indulgent, and allowing them to waste away and suffer isn’t fulfilling your promise to care for them in all phases of their lives.

Trust your intuition and rely on your connection with your animal companion. Put aside your own unwillingness to let your friend go because you will miss him. This time in your animal friend’s life is not about you. It’s about showing him that you love him enough to let him go.
Talk to your dog about your concerns. You’ve established a pattern of communication with your dog that works for both of you. Let your friend know that you think it may be time to let him go. Trust that he will hear you and understand that you’re ready to release him. Dogs are very loyal and intuitive companions, and if your friend understands that you’re ready, he will rest easier knowing that peace will soon come to him. Don’t even doubt for one minute that your friend will hear you. Dogs know what we’re thinking and feeling — often far better than we do — and your thoughts and feelings will be heard.

Understand that death is just change. Certainly you will grieve for the loss of your animal friend’s physical presence, but know that you will always carry the love you shared with you. That permanence of spirit never changes.
We hope that these thoughts are of some help to you as you face end-of-life decisions involving your animal friends. If you feel a need to talk with someone about this topic, please contact the author and pet loss counselor at Old Dog Haven, Ardeth De Vries, at ardethdv@comcast.net
Ardeth De Vries is the author of Old Dog Haven: Every Old Dog Has a Story to Tell. Another will be published at the end of 2023 called When I Grow Old I Will Wear Flowers: Thoughts About Senior Dogs.